Knowing I’m having twins and knowing that this pregnancy is going to be different than any of my singleton pregnancies can be stressful on it’s own. I found out at my second ultrasound but first with MFM that I was having Mono/di twins and my stress level has gone up even more. Any excitement I had was gone because not only was this going to be different in general there could be a lot of issues. Oh and at that ultrasound there some concern for baby b due to it’s bladder size. Now fast forward to 21 weeks and Baby B has been demanding attention almost every time we get an ultrasound done. The bladder was fine by the next ultrasound but at my 19 week anatomy we found out that they could see cysts on Baby B’s brain. If you want to read more about that ultrasound check out: Anatomy Ultrasound. Now I forgot to update about the echo ultrasound that was done a week after the anatomy one. I was told this was normal for twins especially mono-di twins, plus I’m over 35 so you know I’m automatically high risk.
The echo ultrasound was over all good but the doctor did managed to see a small leak in baby B’s heart. They said there was no major issues and typically those type of issues will correct themselves. I have to go back in two months to get a new scan done to see if baby B’s leak is still there and if it has gotten worse. I left that appointment feeling kind of discourage because that was the third thing that we have learned about baby B. If I am truly honest it’s really discouraging and I find myself not being super excited in fear something might happen. This past Tuesday I made my way for my 2 week check up. I knew what I was looking for as the woman did the ultrasound and I couldn’t really see the cysts anymore. I didn’t want to assume so I waited to hear from the doctor. The woman came back due to the doctor being behind and told me everything looked good. Now they did give me the option to wait for the doctor but I honestly want to get out of there. I brought my oldest with me because typically my appointments are fast but we waited in the waiting room for a hour before going to a room. They said both babies looked good and they had lots of fluids. He said he didn’t see the cysts anymore but they will know for sure at my next ultrasound because that one is a growth one. Oh and they were both head down – I know this can change often but I am hopefully that I will get to try for a vaginal birth.
I left there feeling a lot better but then the reality hit me. We are only 15 weeks away from our family being a family of six to a family of 8. Now that’s if I go until 36 weeks but it could come sooner. I started to freak out in my head. We still have so much to do and our future is still up in the air. We need a bigger car, another car seat, a car seat stroller (I swear by them), and another bassinet (I want one like I have already). I need to go through the newborn clothe and decide what I need overall. Then my husband is moving along with preparing for a deployment and that added some additional stress. This isn’t a new thing I just haven’t been allowing myself to think about it. Due to the past year or so I don’t want to ask anyone to provide any of those items – I want to be able to get what I want. I am find getting second hand but needing the funds to do so and then taking the time to search for the items. We also have to prepare our living quarters for their arrival and it’s not ideal. We were hoping we could move before but that may not happen. The jury isn’t out yet but I am trying to prepare myself to stay and figuring out how to handle all those challenges.
Pictures: Both babies didn’t want their face to be captured for a picture so they only got weird side views.
Thriving in Chaos 
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