Almost there…

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I feel this pregnancy is DRAGGING and it this was a singleton one I would still have five weeks to go. I have an ultrasound tomorrow morning and if baby A is still head down then I’m scheduled for next Tuesday to be induced. I am glad to finally have an end at sight but now I am having all these feeling. I know I can’t be the only mother who has this sense of guilt for adding more kids to the family. I feel everytime we go to add a kid and in this case two; I am messing up the routine we finally have in place. Y is finally sleeping through the night, the boys have a set bedtime, and we get them up by a certain time in the morning. I am not getting sleep due to the babies but if I wasn’t pregnant we would be in a set routine. I have a system in place when we go out and when we do everyday life. In one week if I can’t get myself to go before then we will be changing EVERYTHING (again)!

I remember when I found out I was expecting twins I was nervous because I knew the end would be so different from my other pregnancies and that made me sad on one level. I also was fearful something would go wrong because I was told that mono/di twins could come with a lot of risk. Then there was a fear I would lose one of them because that is a thing. When we were trying to decide if we wanted to try for a fifth I kept feeling like someone was missing in our family and I kept seeing five kids. Then I found out we would have six instead of five but I didn’t sense six kids. I know that sounds crazy and it was a little foolish but it crossed my mind. We haven’t gotten another car so then there is a fear that something is going to happen and we won’t need another car. My best friend actually put me in my place earlier in my pregnancy because of my doom and gloom thoughts. I think there is still a small part of me that is fearful and I haven’t allowed myself to get REALLY excited about having twins.

The Lord knew I have wanted twins since we started to try for a baby (back in 2015) but having them on top of having four young kids was not apart of our plan – then again nothing that we are facing right now has been apart of our plan. The kids seems to be excited about the new additions but the only one who truly understands is my oldest and he is sort of used to it by now. My soon to be one year old LOVES her big brothers but I don’t know how she will handle having two younger brothers but my second born was around the same age when our third came and he didn’t seem to mind, nor care that we had another child in the mix. The boys enjoyed having their sister and I haven’t really seen any jealousy but my second born wanted to hold her and do stuff with her so that got challenging.

My husband told me I was worrying to much and was repeating myself which annoyed me because I didn’t think I was openly expressing how I felt. Then again I know a lot of people believe if you mention anything then clearly you are worried about it. I remember having a conversation with a friend in college and I was like just because I mention it doesn’t mean I’m worried. I’m just trying to have a conversation about whatever it was at the time. I still have things I would like to have done before these babies get here so I need to sit down and work on a “To-Do” list and start doing it just in case I do go into labor before Tuesday. We have family coming on Friday evening so I need to get stuff ready for them. My mom is helping out with the kids while we go to the hospital which is a pretty big deal but it’s also causing some stress. I am filled with so much emotions and thoughts right now. I just need to not let myself start to freak out and get what I can done.

34 Weeks Update

I haven’t had an ultrasound for a while but I have had two stress test each week. The boys are doing great according to the nurse everytime she reads the results for the stress test. I am so ready for them to come out. The weight of my stomach is starting to take a toll on my knees. I am noticing discomfort when I get up from sitting so that’s been fun. The way the boys are laying can take a toll on certain bones when I’m sleeping. I have to shift my weight often and my circulation is so bad. I will write in the morning before I start my day and I have to stop to get some flow back into my hand.

This coming week I will finally have another ultrasound and I’m hoping that Baby A hasn’t flipped. Since my last ultrasound I woke up to pain because of the position one of the babies was in and it took me getting up and moving for him to shift and stop hurting. As long as he is head down we will be having these babies in about 11 days. I am really hoping I can kick my body into labor before the 31st. I started to eat dates a few days ago and now I have to hide them because my second born wants to eat them. I watched a video and read how they can help get you ready for birth, cut time down during delivery, and help with recovering from birth. I am not looking forward to the cramping after having these babies.

Laying on my back is really hard on my body so I’m wondering how delivering these babies is going to be since I can barely breath when I end up on my back. I still have a few things I need to do before the twins come and if I don’t get to it it’s not that big of a deal. I am just dragging my feet but since I haven’t had any signs of labor starting or even braxton hicks I am not in a hurry. I keep reminding my husband that if we go into labor before Memorial Day weekend I will be giving birth to the babies by myself at the hospital. I don’t want that but at this point it would be fine – I am getting used to having to do things on my own. Anyway – these babies will be here soon and it’s going to be so weird but exciting to have two babies instead of one.

32 Weeks + Update

I am currently 32 weeks pregnant and I feel pretty tired over all. I am starting to get stretch marks which I have a had four other kids and no stretch marks. I am officially the biggest I have ever been but this make sense because I now have two 3LBS 12OZ babies with all the other stuff that is included when pregnant. The babies are doing well and it was confirmed that three ultrasound ago they mixed up the babies locations and we fixed it for the charts. Fluids look good and I haven’t had any signs of early labor. Warning: TMI – I am starting to lose my operculum but it was a few days ago and I haven’t seen any signs since which it normal. I started to lose mine with my fourth a month before I went into labor. I didn’t truly understand the full concept of losing the operculum until I was in active labor with my second child when I realized what I was seeing for a week was my body getting ready to go into labor. I get it that it’s not always a sign but for me it’s the beginning of the end.

I still don’t feel fully ready for these twins and we are hoping that I can keep them in until the end of May because we will have help with the other kids. I am slowly getting the house into a place that I can manage it with little effort. I am truly physically ready to have these babies but in other ways not so much. We have come to term we won’t have a biggest enough vehicle when we have the babies and we will make it work until September. Baby A has a lot of hair which doesn’t surprise me because all my babies came out with hair. They are always moving around like crazy and Baby B is still breech but Baby A is where he needs to be so I will continue down the path of vaginal birth with no epidural. This has been an interesting experience. I am hoping to get a few more things before they get here but over all we are ready. Then again I feel I am forgetting something major.

Twins Update – 28 weeks

I had an updated ultrasound for the boys and it was a positive one. The doctor didn’t even come into the room because I had no questions. The only thing is I think the women who did the scans had them mixed up. I am going to confirm this when I talk to them next week. If she did not then I am completely clueless when it comes to which baby is located in each spot. We got to see the hair on one of the babies and I thought that was really cool. All my kids have been born with hair so it didn’t surprise me. I just never seen it on an ultrasound. They were both head down and next to each other. They are in their own sack so they aren’t really touching one another but it looks like they are at times. I thought I saw one of them sucking their thumb on the screen.

According to the technician Baby A is 2LBS 5oz and Baby B is 2LBS 8oz – but I don’t know if she was labeling them correctly. The baby that is laying on top of the other baby has flipped himself so I am feeling him more often. I have been watching my belly move in a few areas and it’s kind of cool to watch. We could have these boys in seven weeks if not sooner. We still need another car and a few odds and ends. I am still trying to get this place in order and our future is still up in the air with no real plan. I’m used to this at this point but it doesn’t make it any easier. I am looking forward to meeting JC and JD (not their full names) and see if they truly do look alike and how similar they look to their sibling.

Belly Photo – 28 Weeks

I already look like I’m about to pop. I am as big as I was toward the end of my other pregnancies. I have at least 8 more weeks so needless to say I’m only going to get bigger. I have a handful of people telling me I look good pregnant. One lady told me I look beautiful for being on my 5th and 6th child. I took the compliment but I know what has changed on my face since I started to have kids so it’s hard for me to see beauty. My husband told me I look very pregnant at this point but not fat. This was nice to hear because for a good portion of the beginning of my pregnancy I felt I was just fat and not much of it was the babies. My face has thinned out some and now I want to eat all the time. I guess that is normals since I have two extra sources taking from what I have on my body.

Right now I am still able to move around without to much help. Getting up sometimes take me a few more seconds. I am starting to take breaks while going up the stairs and I find sleeping has been a little better. I managed to get me a piece of foam and a body pillow. I have never been the type of person who uses a body pillow. I woke up a few times with my blankets scrunch up in between my legs. I guess my body was telling me it was time for a pillow. I was able to find one for cheap because I had no idea if I would actually take to it. I am waking up on my back when I do wake up. I am nervous about what I’m going to feel like in a few weeks. I still have a million things I need to do before these babies get here so I can’t drag my feet.

I hope to take a picture each week from here on out. I know I will want to see this later down the road despite how I may feel at this time. The boys are active and I often watch my stomach move in random spots. I am looking forward to meeting these two little guys.

Twins Update – 3 Appointments

I have been trying to keep these update recent but I was not in the best frame of mind last week to post an update. I think partly because I like to add a picture of the updated ultrasound and I kept forgetting to take a picture of them. I had my normal two weeks ultrasound last week and I left confused and a little worried. The doctor decided to move my growth ultrasound up a week which was this week. He kept telling me that they were measuring small especially baby A. The thing was they didn’t confirm it was TTTS (Twins Transfusion Syndrome) but I did not understand why they kept saying baby A was measuring small since he was only one oz smaller then baby B. When I asked him to clarify why he kept saying baby A was smaller he started to explain TTTS and it took everything inside me to not cut him off. All he ended up saying was that you would be surprise how one oz can make a different and that there are times where the placenta just can’t keep up. I was upset for a few days over this and felt that they did not do a very good job explaining anything.

Now fast forward to Monday when I thought I had scheduled my second 3 hour sugar test but first I met with my OB. She ended up trying to explain to me what she thought the doctor was trying to tell me and why they moved up the appointment. The babies were in the 11th percentile which is low normal but that was not told to me. They had some concern but it was not enough to confirm anything. I felt better once talking to my OB but still annoyed that I was left to feel a certain way. Come to find out I was not scheduled for my 3 hour test but they let me do it anyway. I passed which I had a feeling I would pass because I think the only reason why I failed my 1 hour is because I didn’t eat before I went and I had my appointment first thing in the morning. I didn’t not have a crash this time because I had snacks in the car. I am also not anemic which seems to make everyone happy because typically women with twins are anemic by this point.

Now on Wednesday I had my growth ultrasound and everything looked great. The doctor was very pleased because baby A was now in the 35th percentile and baby B was in the 25th percentile. Baby A was 1lb 15oz and baby b was 1lb 14oz. Fluids looks great and they are sharing nicely. Baby B is laying on top of baby A who is head down and where he needs to be for delivery. Hopefully he will stay that way so I can have a vaginal birth. Baby B is a ball and if you look at the picture you can see I drew an arrow. I sent this picture to my best friend and wrote on it. I had to crop it to get rid of any personal information. That is his leg – which explains why I don’t feel him as much as I feel baby A. I am feeling a lot better and I don’t go back for two weeks. I am getting bigger and it’s harder to a lot of things but I’m continuing to pray for God’s protection. I am hoping I can have these two naturally and I am hoping they will come on their own once we get past 34 weeks. It’s hard to believe but we should these little guys joining us in 10 weeks.

Week 21 + Echo Ultrasound

Knowing I’m having twins and knowing that this pregnancy is going to be different than any of my singleton pregnancies can be stressful on it’s own. I found out at my second ultrasound but first with MFM that I was having Mono/di twins and my stress level has gone up even more. Any excitement I had was gone because not only was this going to be different in general there could be a lot of issues. Oh and at that ultrasound there some concern for baby b due to it’s bladder size. Now fast forward to 21 weeks and Baby B has been demanding attention almost every time we get an ultrasound done. The bladder was fine by the next ultrasound but at my 19 week anatomy we found out that they could see cysts on Baby B’s brain. If you want to read more about that ultrasound check out: Anatomy Ultrasound. Now I forgot to update about the echo ultrasound that was done a week after the anatomy one. I was told this was normal for twins especially mono-di twins, plus I’m over 35 so you know I’m automatically high risk.

The echo ultrasound was over all good but the doctor did managed to see a small leak in baby B’s heart. They said there was no major issues and typically those type of issues will correct themselves. I have to go back in two months to get a new scan done to see if baby B’s leak is still there and if it has gotten worse. I left that appointment feeling kind of discourage because that was the third thing that we have learned about baby B. If I am truly honest it’s really discouraging and I find myself not being super excited in fear something might happen. This past Tuesday I made my way for my 2 week check up. I knew what I was looking for as the woman did the ultrasound and I couldn’t really see the cysts anymore. I didn’t want to assume so I waited to hear from the doctor. The woman came back due to the doctor being behind and told me everything looked good. Now they did give me the option to wait for the doctor but I honestly want to get out of there. I brought my oldest with me because typically my appointments are fast but we waited in the waiting room for a hour before going to a room. They said both babies looked good and they had lots of fluids. He said he didn’t see the cysts anymore but they will know for sure at my next ultrasound because that one is a growth one. Oh and they were both head down – I know this can change often but I am hopefully that I will get to try for a vaginal birth.

I left there feeling a lot better but then the reality hit me. We are only 15 weeks away from our family being a family of six to a family of 8. Now that’s if I go until 36 weeks but it could come sooner. I started to freak out in my head. We still have so much to do and our future is still up in the air. We need a bigger car, another car seat, a car seat stroller (I swear by them), and another bassinet (I want one like I have already). I need to go through the newborn clothe and decide what I need overall. Then my husband is moving along with preparing for a deployment and that added some additional stress. This isn’t a new thing I just haven’t been allowing myself to think about it. Due to the past year or so I don’t want to ask anyone to provide any of those items – I want to be able to get what I want. I am find getting second hand but needing the funds to do so and then taking the time to search for the items. We also have to prepare our living quarters for their arrival and it’s not ideal. We were hoping we could move before but that may not happen. The jury isn’t out yet but I am trying to prepare myself to stay and figuring out how to handle all those challenges.

Pictures: Both babies didn’t want their face to be captured for a picture so they only got weird side views.

Anatomy Ultrasound

19 weeks already and I was told a few weeks ago I was pass the halfway point. Which freaked me out a little more than I expected – we still need a bigger car and we need names. This test is the big one and with a singletons it takes awhile but now with two its even longer. It got to a point where we had to take a break because each baby was giving the technician a hard time for certain shots. I went to the bathroom and stood for a period of time. Once she came back she got the rest of the shots. It was nice to see the babies and I have no idea how they keep them straight. I have to trust they know which one is Baby A and Baby B. We did get a confirmation that they are both boys. I am currently seeing a MFM and because that was the office who was doing the ultrasound. I got to talk to the doctor the same day but I already knew what he was going to tell me because the technician pointed it out. I don’t know if it’s still the policy or not but in the past I was told the technician could not answer any questions or tell you any news. Then again this is my first time having to go to a MFM for my appointments but she did say she was only pointing it out because I just shared about my second child.

When I went for my 20 week scan for my second child I noticed on the screen something did not look right on the scan of his brain. I didn’t ask anything but I had it in my head to check the results when they appeared on the MyChart. When they came in I read they found a choroid plexus cysts. The thing is no one called me to make an earlier appointment or even tell me what it meant. I told my husband and he began to look it up. I learned later what it could have meant and how serious it could be if it does not go away. I was also informed that this is pretty common to see this around this time and typically goes away a few weeks later. I had to have another ultrasound done on a later date and everything came back normal. I was informed again that this was the case for Baby B. I have another ultrasound in two weeks and they will check him again. I’m not to nervous about it because of the experience I had with my second child but I won’t lie it’s does give me some pause. I am praying for full healing but I find myself wondering what it would mean if it doesn’t fix itself. This is the second time now that Baby B has given us a reason to be concern. He is 9 oz and Baby A is 8 oz. I was told by the doctor that they are smaller then most babies at this time in the pregnancy but I was confused when he told me that. If you have any of those apps that tell you what size your baby should be at this time they also include the general weight. Baby B is bigger than what the app says and Baby A is only slightly smaller. They are not concern at this time but still it not fun to hear these things.

I plan to take my oldest son the next time I go because he has been asking questions about the whole experience. I think he would enjoy seeing his brothers on the screen and he gets to see them use the ultrasound. I showed him a short video of what the machine does but it was a general video not one that focus on babies. I need to watch any of those videos because they may show/explain the inserted one and I don’t need him to start asking those type of questions. He has seen way too much since he was in the room when I had my third child. Then again you never know he may go into the filed because his mother couldn’t stop having babies. *wink*

First Ultrasound

I waited until the second test to find an OBGYN and made my first appointment. I couldn’t wait to get to this appointment because all I wanted was to see the baby for the first time. My husband and I joked the whole time about me being pregnant with twins. Then again we joked about this during our fourth pregnancy and honestly it wasn’t until the middle of the pregnancy that it was confirmed that I was indeed having one baby. Now back to my fifth pregnancy; the nurse told me she was going to start taking pictures but after a few shots she would turn the screen so I could see the baby.

We were causally talking and I was telling her about my kids at home. I told her I had three boys – 5, 3, and 2. I also informed her I had a baby 5 months prior to getting pregnant with this baby. She reacted the same way most people react when I tell them our kids ages and how crazy we are for having a fifth baby. Then I looked at the screen and saw the very thing I kind of already knew – which was the real reason why I wanted to see the baby.

I will admit I was a little overwhelmed and just spent the rest of the time trying to not freak out as I was talking to the nurse. Having another baby so close after having our fourth child was nerve racking but now there are two. Which mean all the experiences I had in my past pregnancies is now invalid on some level. This pregnancy is going to be so different and I have no idea what to expect. I will admit I had in my head that there was a chance something could happen and we could lose one of the babies. I will post another post about the experience I have had so far but we still have two babies. I told my husband that I wasn’t going to give him any information until I got home – mostly because I didn’t want to tell him if it was twins over the phone.

I stopped to pick up a few groceries before heading home and I got a 1/2 dozen of donuts. When I got home I came into the house and told the kids that mommy brought home donuts. They rushed into the dining room and I had our oldest who is 5 count the doughnuts. Once he said six I said out loud “That’s how many kids mommy and daddy are going to have.” My husband got this smirk on his face and he was like twins? I then grabbed the pictures and showed him. He kind of knew but still the reality was finally here and all our jokes were not longer jokes. He of course started to think of ways to make more money.

Now the next thing is finding out the gender – because we both decided we were going to find out this time because I couldn’t handle not knowing. I need to know if it’s two girls, two boys, or a one of each. I need to prepare because no matter what we will need more clothes, except if it’s one of each.

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