Almost there…

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I feel this pregnancy is DRAGGING and it this was a singleton one I would still have five weeks to go. I have an ultrasound tomorrow morning and if baby A is still head down then I’m scheduled for next Tuesday to be induced. I am glad to finally have an end at sight but now I am having all these feeling. I know I can’t be the only mother who has this sense of guilt for adding more kids to the family. I feel everytime we go to add a kid and in this case two; I am messing up the routine we finally have in place. Y is finally sleeping through the night, the boys have a set bedtime, and we get them up by a certain time in the morning. I am not getting sleep due to the babies but if I wasn’t pregnant we would be in a set routine. I have a system in place when we go out and when we do everyday life. In one week if I can’t get myself to go before then we will be changing EVERYTHING (again)!

I remember when I found out I was expecting twins I was nervous because I knew the end would be so different from my other pregnancies and that made me sad on one level. I also was fearful something would go wrong because I was told that mono/di twins could come with a lot of risk. Then there was a fear I would lose one of them because that is a thing. When we were trying to decide if we wanted to try for a fifth I kept feeling like someone was missing in our family and I kept seeing five kids. Then I found out we would have six instead of five but I didn’t sense six kids. I know that sounds crazy and it was a little foolish but it crossed my mind. We haven’t gotten another car so then there is a fear that something is going to happen and we won’t need another car. My best friend actually put me in my place earlier in my pregnancy because of my doom and gloom thoughts. I think there is still a small part of me that is fearful and I haven’t allowed myself to get REALLY excited about having twins.

The Lord knew I have wanted twins since we started to try for a baby (back in 2015) but having them on top of having four young kids was not apart of our plan – then again nothing that we are facing right now has been apart of our plan. The kids seems to be excited about the new additions but the only one who truly understands is my oldest and he is sort of used to it by now. My soon to be one year old LOVES her big brothers but I don’t know how she will handle having two younger brothers but my second born was around the same age when our third came and he didn’t seem to mind, nor care that we had another child in the mix. The boys enjoyed having their sister and I haven’t really seen any jealousy but my second born wanted to hold her and do stuff with her so that got challenging.

My husband told me I was worrying to much and was repeating myself which annoyed me because I didn’t think I was openly expressing how I felt. Then again I know a lot of people believe if you mention anything then clearly you are worried about it. I remember having a conversation with a friend in college and I was like just because I mention it doesn’t mean I’m worried. I’m just trying to have a conversation about whatever it was at the time. I still have things I would like to have done before these babies get here so I need to sit down and work on a “To-Do” list and start doing it just in case I do go into labor before Tuesday. We have family coming on Friday evening so I need to get stuff ready for them. My mom is helping out with the kids while we go to the hospital which is a pretty big deal but it’s also causing some stress. I am filled with so much emotions and thoughts right now. I just need to not let myself start to freak out and get what I can done.

34 Weeks Update

I haven’t had an ultrasound for a while but I have had two stress test each week. The boys are doing great according to the nurse everytime she reads the results for the stress test. I am so ready for them to come out. The weight of my stomach is starting to take a toll on my knees. I am noticing discomfort when I get up from sitting so that’s been fun. The way the boys are laying can take a toll on certain bones when I’m sleeping. I have to shift my weight often and my circulation is so bad. I will write in the morning before I start my day and I have to stop to get some flow back into my hand.

This coming week I will finally have another ultrasound and I’m hoping that Baby A hasn’t flipped. Since my last ultrasound I woke up to pain because of the position one of the babies was in and it took me getting up and moving for him to shift and stop hurting. As long as he is head down we will be having these babies in about 11 days. I am really hoping I can kick my body into labor before the 31st. I started to eat dates a few days ago and now I have to hide them because my second born wants to eat them. I watched a video and read how they can help get you ready for birth, cut time down during delivery, and help with recovering from birth. I am not looking forward to the cramping after having these babies.

Laying on my back is really hard on my body so I’m wondering how delivering these babies is going to be since I can barely breath when I end up on my back. I still have a few things I need to do before the twins come and if I don’t get to it it’s not that big of a deal. I am just dragging my feet but since I haven’t had any signs of labor starting or even braxton hicks I am not in a hurry. I keep reminding my husband that if we go into labor before Memorial Day weekend I will be giving birth to the babies by myself at the hospital. I don’t want that but at this point it would be fine – I am getting used to having to do things on my own. Anyway – these babies will be here soon and it’s going to be so weird but exciting to have two babies instead of one.

Mother’s Day

I posted on my personal Instagram account pictures of me being pregnant for all my kids. These are the last pictures before I had them – now the last one is the most recent so I am pretty sure there will be a few more before they come. I had to laugh because my hair has been different lengths and my hair in the current one is the longest but you can’t tell because I threw it up in a pony tale. Apparently I have a color I enjoy while I’m pregnant like salmon and navy blue. I liked my hair the best in the second picture and I would totally do that again.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day – we have nothing plan and I have learned to be ok with it. I could be sad or disappointed but it’s not going to change anything. The boys are to young to do anything on their own and I feel weird doing something for myself. Honestly, all I want is to not have to do everyday things. I don’t want to cook, clean, change diapers, take kids upstairs for naps, or anything that I do on a normal day. I did put together a pan of french toast that can be thrown in the oven in the morning. It’s not like my kids will eat it but at least I will offer it to them – then again they may eat it up. I was told this morning that my son is over chocolate chips pancakes. I am not a fan of breakfast food so figuring out what I can make on the weekend will be another challenge for me to figure out.

I guess it’s safe to say Mother’s Day is another holiday that is designed to sell cards, flowers, chocolate, and any other girly things. I went to Walmart to pick up a few things and there were a lot of guys with kids shopping. The card section had multiple people picking out cards. I think on some level when I see people shopping at the last minute it annoys me because I feel most of the time it’s a person last ditch to get something random. I guess it’s better than nothing – right? Gifts are hard for me mostly because I don’t want just anything I would rather get something I need/want. I guess on some level it’s hard for someone to gift me a gift unless they have access to a gift list. I’m not a flower person, don’t care for a box of chocolate, and words of affirmation isn’t my top love language and if I was honestly it’s really hard for me to accept any kind of words these days.

I am also not a very good gift giver and never do anything for our mother’s which on some level I feel bad. We will call them tomorrow and I wish we could talk without hearing Happy’s Mother’s Day. I know that my MIL is going to ask what I got and point out how I shouldn’t have to do x, y, and z. Just a reminder of how the day is going to be just another day. I think the last Mother’s Day gift I got was before I gave birth to my first son – I got a photo printer which I need another one. My husband is a technology giver and since we don’t have in the budget I won’t be receiving anything – even though I could use another set of airpods since my left one won’t work correctly. Anyway – I hope other mothers get a nice day and I can have some down time throughout the day.

32 Weeks + Update

I am currently 32 weeks pregnant and I feel pretty tired over all. I am starting to get stretch marks which I have a had four other kids and no stretch marks. I am officially the biggest I have ever been but this make sense because I now have two 3LBS 12OZ babies with all the other stuff that is included when pregnant. The babies are doing well and it was confirmed that three ultrasound ago they mixed up the babies locations and we fixed it for the charts. Fluids look good and I haven’t had any signs of early labor. Warning: TMI – I am starting to lose my operculum but it was a few days ago and I haven’t seen any signs since which it normal. I started to lose mine with my fourth a month before I went into labor. I didn’t truly understand the full concept of losing the operculum until I was in active labor with my second child when I realized what I was seeing for a week was my body getting ready to go into labor. I get it that it’s not always a sign but for me it’s the beginning of the end.

I still don’t feel fully ready for these twins and we are hoping that I can keep them in until the end of May because we will have help with the other kids. I am slowly getting the house into a place that I can manage it with little effort. I am truly physically ready to have these babies but in other ways not so much. We have come to term we won’t have a biggest enough vehicle when we have the babies and we will make it work until September. Baby A has a lot of hair which doesn’t surprise me because all my babies came out with hair. They are always moving around like crazy and Baby B is still breech but Baby A is where he needs to be so I will continue down the path of vaginal birth with no epidural. This has been an interesting experience. I am hoping to get a few more things before they get here but over all we are ready. Then again I feel I am forgetting something major.

30 Weeks Pregnant + Update

It’s official I am finally in the 30 weeks zone and to be honest this whole experience is going to be challenging. I am tired all the time. I was sleeping pretty hard there for a week or so but now I’m achy and waking almost every hour again. Thank God for the body pillow which I never thought I would be the type of person who would ever say that. My sinuses are stuffy all the time so if I want to give one side a break I have to lay on my right side, even thought I prefer to sleep on my left. I sleep with my mouth open so every time I wake I have to drink water. I am now waking and having to use the bathroom EVERY TIME I wake up. Thank God we have a 1/2 bath on the same floor so I don’t have to walk up the stairs every time I need to go to the bathroom. I am concern to drive anywhere because I have almost fallen asleep at the wheel on a few occasions. I could be sitting up on the couch with my kids and just pass out.

I can’t breath all the time – even when I’m sitting and talking on the phone. It sounds like I just took a run. If I get up to go into another room I have to sit right down which means everything takes longer. I am getting lightheaded more often – even when I’m sitting in the same spot. I still have my belly band that I wear but due to the belly getting bigger it gets itchy after awhile. I am still waiting for the other band I brought just in case I have to have a c-section. EVERYTHING is swollen and I don’t feel like a normal woman anymore. My legs are so gross looking and the other day I was putting on a dress and I had a tank top on. My oldest son got all concern and asked what happened to my legs. I usually have them hidden away. I do not feel attractive at all but then again I haven’t felt that way for a long time so this isn’t anything new.

I have no desire to drink coffee in the morning which is making me a little cranky throughout the day. Eating has become a thing because I don’t want to really eat. When I do a lot of the times I feel nauseous. Then if I do eat without feeling sick I am so stuffed that I’m uncomfortable. I know my body is thinning out because the twins are taking resources that I had in reserved before getting pregnant with them. I honestly don’t care if people make comments to me in the store – overall people are not rude about it. They are just trying to make conversation. I look like I’m ready to pop at any moment and to be honest I agree because I look like I’m closer to 40 weeks then 30. I am trying to imagine my body getting any bigger and it’s kind of concerning. I know my body can and will do it. I know that I will never be the same and there is a good chance if I ever want the extra skin to go away I am going to have to have surgery.

I have always wanted twins and now we are having them. I know we are so blessed with the family we have and that I have been able to have all my kids with no complications. I love my kids so much and I’m so glad I am able to be with them all the time. As I type this up I can see my belly just moving all over the place. I had my latest ultrasound yesterday and one the babies in breech – which makes me sad. I know there is still time but I just wish he would stay down. The baby that is closer to my bladder is head down but my doctors have not talked to me about any birth plans at this time. Everything looks good so there is no concern at this time. Starting in two weeks I will be going to the MFM twice a week – which is going to make my husband “happy”. We do not feel like we are ready for these boys. All the unknowns are getting to me. I haven’t had any cramps or anything but there has been a few times I felt maybe my lower half feels achy but I don’t know if it’s a sign or just me doing to much. I have been trying to sit as often as I can but it’s making me stir crazy.

The TV is on all the time and my kids are acting like crazy little people. I know they are feeding off me and they have to know things are about to change. All I want to do is provide a safe, loving, and an educational environment. I feel like I’m FAILING them everyday. I want to be reading, doing activities with them but due to me being cranky and short I would rather them be watching TV then be near me. Our oldest is having issues again with going to the bathroom so that is making him cranky. He is instigating all the time. He is teaching his brothers to do stupid stuff and I feel like I need to start holding him responsible for their behavior. Our daughter is 10 months old and she isn’t doing anything but rolling over. My husband wanted to hold off on services but now he wants me to reach out to get that ball rolling. Our older two had to have them so we aren’t surprised – but after three kids I am feeling a certain way about it.

I could go on and on about how I’m feeling and maybe I’ll write another post but I’m not sure what the next six weeks will be like and I’m trying to not stress. I warn my best friend that I will be in survival mode so I may not be around much. There is a part of me that wants to shut down and push everyone out. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I have so many emotions I’m trying work through, deal with the limitation of being pregnant, and making sure my kids are safe/healthy. I’m nervous about delivery because even if I do get what I want it’s going to be a lot hard due to my size and them having to keep me hooked up on the monitors. I have never had a male doctor before and I’m afraid if I have one he is going to push stuff because he feels a certain way. I don’t think I have seen a female doctor since I started seeing the MFM and that is now causing me stress. I am so stuck in my head these days and I got to figure out a way to deal with it before I make myself crazy.

Belly Photo – 28 Weeks

I already look like I’m about to pop. I am as big as I was toward the end of my other pregnancies. I have at least 8 more weeks so needless to say I’m only going to get bigger. I have a handful of people telling me I look good pregnant. One lady told me I look beautiful for being on my 5th and 6th child. I took the compliment but I know what has changed on my face since I started to have kids so it’s hard for me to see beauty. My husband told me I look very pregnant at this point but not fat. This was nice to hear because for a good portion of the beginning of my pregnancy I felt I was just fat and not much of it was the babies. My face has thinned out some and now I want to eat all the time. I guess that is normals since I have two extra sources taking from what I have on my body.

Right now I am still able to move around without to much help. Getting up sometimes take me a few more seconds. I am starting to take breaks while going up the stairs and I find sleeping has been a little better. I managed to get me a piece of foam and a body pillow. I have never been the type of person who uses a body pillow. I woke up a few times with my blankets scrunch up in between my legs. I guess my body was telling me it was time for a pillow. I was able to find one for cheap because I had no idea if I would actually take to it. I am waking up on my back when I do wake up. I am nervous about what I’m going to feel like in a few weeks. I still have a million things I need to do before these babies get here so I can’t drag my feet.

I hope to take a picture each week from here on out. I know I will want to see this later down the road despite how I may feel at this time. The boys are active and I often watch my stomach move in random spots. I am looking forward to meeting these two little guys.

Choosing My Blog Name

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One of the hardest thing for me when wanting to create a blog is figuring out what name I want to give it. This time around was no different and it took me forever to launch. My first post was title Launching Nightmare. I guess it’s not in good taste to talk bad about the planform you are currently using but for some reason I was having the hardest time figuring out the layout of my blog. This is not my first time using this site but even just recently I had to take time to redo it and I’m still not happy with the layout. Ok, now that I went down that rabbit trail let me get back to the whole purpose of this post.

I chose the name of my blog because last year when we were in MS either before or after having our daughter we talked about how we typically thrive in chaos. Throughout our whole marriage we have been thrown a lot of chaotic scenarios and we typically run with them. When we were first married my car died and we had to get a new engine in the car and that took a whole week. Not all thing that have come our way have been negative, my husband landed a solid/reliable job when the economy crashed in 2008 and we had that job for 7 years. Even when we thought he was going to lose it due to downsizing, another guy who they felt they couldn’t loss decided he was going to stepped down and moved away. This allowed my husband to keep his job for a few more years.

We have moved multiple times – I have shared those experiences in a mini series. We have lost an animal and adopted two randomly which worked out in our favor. We have added kids to our family at a high rate and I’m currently pregnant with babies 5 and 6. My husband joined the military and spent two years becoming an officer. That was a crazy journey by itself and life isn’t getting any less boring. Now I saw all that because I feel that I’m doing everything but thriving in the chaos of our life. I am having daily meltdown in my head and I can’t seem to get ahead in any area of my life. I am an emotional mess and I don’t know what to do about it.

I know we are truly blessed and the fact that we are in this house is a blessing. I was reminded of this when someone who is currently living in temporary housing while their travel home is being fixed because they don’t have a permeant home. They are a family of seven and they just had a newborn – I am so overwhelmed with the state of our 3 bedroom home that it was a reminder that things could always be different. The mother seems to be handling it well and she is a good example of thriving in chaos. I am also very aware of what is going on in the world and people have it a lot worse than I do but here is the thing I refuse to pretend that my emotions do not matter.

Why do we do that to ourselves and other people? It’s like we are not allowed to express our own emotions without someone coming along and telling us why we are wrong to feel that way. I am struggling with being pregnant with twins because I can’t do anything on my own but then someone would come along and tell me how there are women who can’t have babies, women who are on bed rest, women who are homeless, and the examples are endless. If we focused on all these scenario we would be crippled with fear/worry and we would do nothing with our time. I have been told multiple times over the years that I need to be kind to myself but that is really hard right now.

My biggest issue isn’t my house but my attitude toward my kids and that is why I feel that I am not handling our chaos very well. I have a short fuse and I hate it. I can’t stand the whining and it makes me crazy when my kids won’t just use their words. I have a slight hearing loss and when they whisper what they want it makes me crazy. They have too much toys and they are spending way too much time in front of the TV. I often allow it in hope I can get something done and find myself having to sit for a long period of time. I need to work on myself and today I got up at 5:30. I hope to do a few more things before the kids are up for the day to help me with my attitude and setting myself up for a good day (as much as possible). Let’s face it when you have unpredictable human in the mix you never know what the day will bring especially when one has a build on weapon on their arm.

Currently in my life I do not feel like I’m thriving but I haven’t given up yet.

First Belly Photo

If I’m completely honest I really have no desire to take these types of shots. I will admit it’s because my self-esteem has been on the low side. Now before anyone jumps on me about that it’s something I have struggled with my whole life. I am the biggest I have ever been in my life. I know I am pregnant with twins so clearly I’m going to be bigger then I have been before but I failed to get the weight off after having my daughter and now here I am expecting again. Truth be told I gained weight after my third child due to birth control and the pandemic.

My biggest annoyance I have had my whole life is how quickly people would write me off when I shared the one area that I have struggled with my whole life. When I was a size zero – you know in high school I always had a negative view of myself. I never had an eating disorder or anything I just always carried extra weight on my stomach. I was asked several times in high school if I was pregnant due to the extra weight I carried in the stomach region. The ONLY time in my life that I had a flat stomach was after I had my second son but I lost 20 lbs after having him and I only gain 15. This was a stressful time in my life and I had a hard time eating, sleeping, and gaining weight. The doctors never seemed concern but I remember laying on my mother’s couch for a nap and it was the first time I did not have a stomach hanging down.

When I was pregnant with my daughter people would make off comments about my weight. They wouldn’t come out and say anything but they would ask other people if I was having twins because I was bigger then I was with the boys. I have one family member who has made it their mission in life to comment on my weight every time they see me. They would tell me I was skinny or something along those lines but the fact that they had to keep bringing it up told me that they noticed. The thing is they know that I struggle with this area and the fact they kept commenting on it is their way to keep reminding me of how I feel. Anyway – I haven’t taken a picture of my belly because I felt that before a certain point the belly I had was not from the babies. I had a family member I was talking to on FaceTime make a comment about my belly (months ago) and I am honest with them when they said something. I was like “nope – just fat”. I could grab it, squeeze it, and shake it. You can’t do that when it’s a pregnant belly. I am finally at the point that my belly is growing but I’m sad because I can’t feel the babies as much on the outside and I think it’s because of the layer of fat.

I will continue to take these photos because I know later in life I will regret not taking them but it will be rare. If I could lose the weight around my chin I may feel a little better but I also know I need to change my diet. I LOVE carbs and have way more then I should in a day. I do eat sugar but it’s the carbs that get me. Now I have noticed I have lost some weight in certain areas because my body is trying to make two humans at once. I do find myself more hungry at certain times of the day but I am not trying to eat for “two” or in my case “three”. Anyway – this post went a whole different direction then I first started to write. I am not sure when I’ll post a next one but here to 21 weeks.

Week 21 + Echo Ultrasound

Knowing I’m having twins and knowing that this pregnancy is going to be different than any of my singleton pregnancies can be stressful on it’s own. I found out at my second ultrasound but first with MFM that I was having Mono/di twins and my stress level has gone up even more. Any excitement I had was gone because not only was this going to be different in general there could be a lot of issues. Oh and at that ultrasound there some concern for baby b due to it’s bladder size. Now fast forward to 21 weeks and Baby B has been demanding attention almost every time we get an ultrasound done. The bladder was fine by the next ultrasound but at my 19 week anatomy we found out that they could see cysts on Baby B’s brain. If you want to read more about that ultrasound check out: Anatomy Ultrasound. Now I forgot to update about the echo ultrasound that was done a week after the anatomy one. I was told this was normal for twins especially mono-di twins, plus I’m over 35 so you know I’m automatically high risk.

The echo ultrasound was over all good but the doctor did managed to see a small leak in baby B’s heart. They said there was no major issues and typically those type of issues will correct themselves. I have to go back in two months to get a new scan done to see if baby B’s leak is still there and if it has gotten worse. I left that appointment feeling kind of discourage because that was the third thing that we have learned about baby B. If I am truly honest it’s really discouraging and I find myself not being super excited in fear something might happen. This past Tuesday I made my way for my 2 week check up. I knew what I was looking for as the woman did the ultrasound and I couldn’t really see the cysts anymore. I didn’t want to assume so I waited to hear from the doctor. The woman came back due to the doctor being behind and told me everything looked good. Now they did give me the option to wait for the doctor but I honestly want to get out of there. I brought my oldest with me because typically my appointments are fast but we waited in the waiting room for a hour before going to a room. They said both babies looked good and they had lots of fluids. He said he didn’t see the cysts anymore but they will know for sure at my next ultrasound because that one is a growth one. Oh and they were both head down – I know this can change often but I am hopefully that I will get to try for a vaginal birth.

I left there feeling a lot better but then the reality hit me. We are only 15 weeks away from our family being a family of six to a family of 8. Now that’s if I go until 36 weeks but it could come sooner. I started to freak out in my head. We still have so much to do and our future is still up in the air. We need a bigger car, another car seat, a car seat stroller (I swear by them), and another bassinet (I want one like I have already). I need to go through the newborn clothe and decide what I need overall. Then my husband is moving along with preparing for a deployment and that added some additional stress. This isn’t a new thing I just haven’t been allowing myself to think about it. Due to the past year or so I don’t want to ask anyone to provide any of those items – I want to be able to get what I want. I am find getting second hand but needing the funds to do so and then taking the time to search for the items. We also have to prepare our living quarters for their arrival and it’s not ideal. We were hoping we could move before but that may not happen. The jury isn’t out yet but I am trying to prepare myself to stay and figuring out how to handle all those challenges.

Pictures: Both babies didn’t want their face to be captured for a picture so they only got weird side views.

3 Hour Wait

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I’m currently sitting in the waiting room of OBGYN because last week I failed my one hour sugar test. I have never failed one of these test and I have been pregnant four times prior to this pregnancy. The difference is I am expecting twins and I have been told this is normal for multiples. I have tried to not really think about the fact that I failed over the weekend but every time I went to eat all I could think of is – “Will I be able to eat this if I fail the next one?” My 5-yr-old made me laugh this morning as I was getting ready to leave. He told me he would miss me and not to fail my test. I explained to him earlier that if I failed then I wouldn’t be able to eat cookies and ice cream for a while. When we were talking to my MIL yesterday he informed her of this fact.

My stomach is started to feel a little on the gross side because of all that sugar. I was told to fast which I did and now all I can think about it eating real food. I am normally limited on what I can have due to a spice allergy that is found in a lot of food. I often have to avoid fast food in general, the hardest thing is not being able to eat Chick-fil-a anymore. There is a Panera Bread on the way home so I may swing by and get a bowl of soup. I am a little nervous about failing this test and having to check my sugar all the time. The other thing is having to rethink meals because I was just getting into a new routine of making multiples meals each week and having a list of dinners I know that will be eaten. Now I am going to have to cut down on carbs majorly, not eliminating them but making sure I have fewer. I am a carb driven person and as my MIL informed me that I’m the only person she knows who can eat so many carbs and still be “skinny”. I am not that skinny but I get what she was trying to say.

I do try to find the good in each situations so I told my best friend that this may be a good thing overall. I don’t take care of myself and I often want to start eating more vegetables. The thing is I don’t want to put the energy into being good and making myself stick to a better eating plan. Now if I fail I will have to for the sake of the babies and myself. I will just have to get creative and find recipes that I know my husband will eat that isn’t carb overload. Then again if we begin to do this he might start losing some weight as well which might be the push he needs to get started on that journey again. Disclaimer: He has been saying for months how he needs to get back into working out and lose the weight he gain over the last two years. He hopes to hire a personal trainer at some point in his life. He needs that push that is outside of himself.

The wait continues as I continue to type and I have to get blood drawn at 9:05, 10:05, and 11:05. I got my first vile right when I got here before drinking the orange drink of grossness. My mom told me she kept throwing up the drink so they had to come up with a new plan for her. I think she may have said they had to put her asleep to do it. This was over 30 years ago so I don’t know what they did back in the day. I thought at first I was going to get a headache after I drank it but the feeling has faded.

If you had the 3 hour sugar test done, how did you pass the time?
Did you find it easy or difficult to complete?
If you failed the second test what did you have to do?

I have no idea what to expect if I fail this next test. I read that I would have to check my blood four times a day. I would be sent to a nutritionist. There is a fear among other woman that the babies would be born with diabetes. I assume I will go back to normal once I have the babies. My family is prone to diabetes but it’s typically the type that can be managed by diet alone. I did see that one person had to take insulin because she couldn’t get her numbers to stay low and I really hope that I don’t have to do that. Anyway I brought my computer, a book, and my AirPods. I have no idea how I’m going to use this time but I am feeling tired now and would like to go to sleep.

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