Reading Challenge Book 8 – Love Without Borders

2022 GoodRead Challenge – Book 8 of 50

Love Without Borders – written by Angela Braniff. When I found out I was expecting twins I was feeling overwhelmed that I was going to have six kids. I started to look for other families who have multiple kids. I came across a vlog titled The Gathered Nest. I began to watch some of her videos and I enjoyed listening to her and seeing her family. It took me a while before I subscribed to both her channels. YouTube will suggest you to watch older videos of people you subscribe too and I started to watch older videos. I began to watch her homeschooling videos because I officially have to register our son in the fall and I like hearing other people stories. She suggests different resources she has used over the years. It didn’t take long to see videos of her talking about writing a book. I did not watch the videos in order so I would see one video from 4 years ago and another video that was only 9 months old.

The more I watched her videos and listen to the stories of how her family came together I wanted to read her book. I couldn’t find it on Libby and I knew getting a paper copy would mean it would sit on my shelf for awhile. I finally got it on Audible and listened to it in one day. I typically listen to audiobooks with a higher speed but with books like these I typically keep them at normal speed. Angela the author also did the voice for the audio. I enjoy listening to her when I am cleaning and doing stuff around the house it was easy to listen to her tell her story. She is a woman of great faith and I believe she is only a year older then me and our birthday is a day apart. I know that when we share our lives on social media we can show what we we want about ourselves. I really like her and there are things she says and does that makes me think of me. I shared in another post that I have found inspiration thought watching vloggers on YouTube. She is a big one at this time in my life.

The book is her sharing her story about how her family became a family. You learn more details about the journey. It is inspiring and if you are family who have adopted or considering adopting I would say check her book out. I like how they had different types of adoptions. I have known a handful of people who have adopted and once upon a time I thought I wanted to adopt. I later discovered I like the idea of adopting but I personally do not believe that is apart of our story. I am not saying never but what I do know that God would have to do some moving to make everyone in our home open to the idea. I also have learned about embryo adoption. I did not know that was a thing until I heard her story about the twins. I am currently pregnant with twins so of course I am curious about her journey. She posted videos of the girls and how everything was going in the first year of their life. I am currently watching them because any advice or suggestion is going to be helpful. I am personally struggling in general with my walk but hearing her talk about how God is in the details has been a reminder of all the times God has done the same thing in my life. I am thankful she has taken the time to share because she has been helpful for me in this seasons of life.

Lost of Focus

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I had all these plans for writing a blog and then I haven’t been on since October. This is truly unfortunate because I paid for a membership and now I have missed out on a few months. I have found myself to be in a downward funk and I am not motivated to get out of it. The thing is what I am feeling is NOTHING compared to what I dealt with a few years ago. I just have no drive – it’s the new year so of course you are seeing all these inspirational posts. People are posting their goals and desires for the new year. I have also seen a lot of people post about how they are afraid to even dream due to the last two years. No one knows what to expect in 2022 especially since the media is still putting out stuff that causes fear and uncertainty. Then it didn’t help that Betty White died at the end of 2021 and now there are tons of videos/memes being put out. All jokes aside I have always found myself to want to set some kind of goals but not this year.

One goal I had last year was “read” 50 books by the end of the year and I use the word read loosely because most of the books were audiobooks. I fail that goal by 7 books and it was because I let other forms of media prevent me from working on this goal. I can’t even say it was because of the kids because a lot of times I will listen to things throughout the day because let’s face it being a stay at home mom can be lonely. I will listen to music but I often like to hear some adult dialog so I’ll put on a show I have seen before and listen to it. I often leave my phone charging as I walk around the house doing everyday chores. I have things I want to do but I haven’t done them. I hate this phase I am in because I am typically a driven person (then again if you ask one of my extended family members they would tell you that isn’t the case).

I am feeling like I need to be doing something to give myself an outlet. I have been told recently that I am becoming a very short tempered person and I know these words are true. I feel like I have lost myself over the last four years and I haven’t truly found my way back. I have no idea who I am but I do know that most people in my life do not care for me in general. I have lost my way in the area of faith and I am having a hard time getting to a place of wanting to move forward. I still believe the same thing but taking the steps to walk down that path seemed to come to a standstill. I will admit I looked into talking to a counselor but the closest one is about a hour away and I can’t leave my husband during the day to take care of the kids when he needs to work (it would end up being a 3 hour ordeal).

We all have a purpose in life and due to my belief I believe our main mission is to share about Christ, but I find myself never doing that and I know I have not set a very good example to my family members. Anyway – I have been told many times over the years that if you want to have good relationships then you should first have a good relationship with God. I have always found this to be hard because he is not physically here and I think that has always been the thing that kept me from passing a certain point. I have had times where I have felt the Spirit of God lead me in the day to day. I have heard his voice clearly a handful of times. But I sit here typing feeling a million miles away and the only real time I even think about him and prayer is at my bedtime for my kids.

I haven’t had a real church family in years and I think that also plays in this whole feeling lonely and aimless. I need to figure something out because I feel like if I don’t figure something out soon I’m going to continue to feel lost, lonely, aimless, and angry. That’s another reason why I wanted to find someone to talk to because I have a lot of anger and I feel like I need to talk to someone new. I need to find a new focus and something that I can create. We are creative people but I have lost my drive to create but what I really want is to create to help my family. I want to produce something that can help us move forward to the goals we have in place. We all need something to live for and what gets me up everyday is my kids. I have never been in a place where I couldn’t function and not take care of my kids. Even when my world was crashing down around me four years ago I would get up and face the world for my son. My mission is my kids right now but I know I need to find something to help me to not lose myself.


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Faith and Belief have a different meaning for many people. Everyone have a story on how they view those two words it could be a positive, negative, or a neutral feeling. Typically when we talk about having faith and believing in something we are talking about some form of religion. Depending on your view and experience we could talk for hours about this topic but my goal is not to debate with anyone but to share my journey.

I grew up in a Christian home and unfortunately I can’t just say that and move on because this has different meaning to people. I could be wrong but if I said I grew up in a Catholic home or a Jewish home or a Mormon home most people would understand what that’s means. Saying I grew up in a Christian home leaves it too broad. I spent the first half of my childhood in my grandmothers house and she was my primary caregiver due to my mothers work schedule. We would go to church often but I couldn’t tell you what denomination of the church we attended from the top of my head. I do know it was called Church of God and after a google search they are considered Holiness Pentecostal Christian Denomination. I honestly do not know what that actually means but that was the type of church I attended until I was teenager.

I spent seventeen years of my life attending a different denomination and now I am not faithfully attending any denomination due to moving, covid, and the chaos of life. I on some level had a crisis of faith about three years ago and haven’t taken the time to figure it out. I still believe in a God and I still believe he sent his son to die on the cross for us. Despite the way I have been living my life in the sense of not attending church I still believe that I need to have a daily relationship with God and need to be giving my time. I do believe we don’t have it right no matter what denomination are available. It’s a journey and I’m trying to figure out my journey and what that looks like at this time. I still hold strongly to a lot of core beliefs but it’s time to stop dragging my feet and begin to figure it out.

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