Peeing in a Bottle

Photo by Gantas Vaiu010diulu0117nas on

Disclaimer: This is not a story about me peeing in a bottle but that would have been interesting, right!?

There are those moments in life where you have no control and you have to accept what is going to come because there is NOTHING you can do about it. This ended up not being the case but it was pretty close. We were on a four hour trip to visit family and within the first hour of our trip our oldest and only potty trained child needed to go to the bathroom. I was hoping we could make it to the two hour mark because there is a rest stop right at that time. We stopped and took care of everyone, we were determine to make the last three hours of the trip without stopping (so I hoped).

We hit the 3 hour mark and we just got to a portion of the trip where we had to slow down from 70MPH to 45MPH and we were in the downtown area of small city. When our oldest informs us he needs to go to the bathroom. The thing is with him he waits until it’s pretty much an emergency which does not give us much time to react. I have had to pull over on the side of the road too many times to have him pee. One time I was pulled into the parking lot of a gas station, got him out, and had him pee by a tree near the parking spot. I knew he wouldn’t of made it by the time I got everyone out of the car. I guess this is one of many positive things about having a boy. Oh and another time I managed to get to a grocery store. I unbundled everyone but I could tell he wasn’t going to make it so I had him pee on the tire of our car. These are not my finest moments but it’s either that or he gets embraced that he pees himself.

I got to a point that I kept a portable potty in the car for these scenarios but I forgot it this trip because I was attempting to see if my other two would be interested in potty training. I thought having a portable one may be better than using the potty seat in the bathroom. Anyway – I did not bring the seat with us but I figured it wouldn’t be a problem. Yep! I was WRONG. We were in the left lane and beginning to get on a bridge when he informs us he needs to go to the bathroom and I could hear the urgency in his voice. I told my husband to take the next exit outside of this city area so it would be easier to get back on the highway. Little did we know that the traffic was at a complete stopped a few feet away. We had no idea what was going on but we wasn’t moving and we were not in a spot where he could get out of the car safely to pee.

I sat in the passenger seat listening to my child getting upset and at one point he started to cry. He kept saying how he didn’t want to pee himself and get his car seat wet. I was at a lost because it wasn’t safe for him to get out of the car to pee and I had nothing I could use…so I thought. I am a big believer you should have scissors in your car. I usually stock all our cars with scissors but I have not done my own car yet and here I sat thinking “WHY HAVEN’T I STOCKED THIS CAR WITH SCISSORS!?!?!” When I remember that my husband left one of his pocket knives in the door of the driver side – the van we have has a spot on the door you can store items. I keep small garbage bags but I remember seeing the knife the other day. We had ONE large plastic water bottle that my husband used for his flavored water he makes himself. He will use one bottle for an extended amount of time but there was a crisis and I had to save our son.

I thought about just having him pee into the top of the bottle but with him being so young and I have seen him pee he does NOT pay attention when he is going. I was afraid he would pee in the car and that would be another thing I would have to clean up and we would have to smell pee the rest of the trip. I am starting to see why we need to stock the car up with some random cleaning supplies – like a carpet cleaner. I quickly cut the top off the water bottle, got him out of his seat, and he peed right there in the van. We did not have an accident on him or the car – crisis averted. My other two just watched and you could see the amazement/confusion on their face. My second born asked to pee as well but he just wanted out of his seat. I dumped the pee out onto the road and put the bottle in a bag and buried it into the trash bag I had created earlier. I could still smell some pee but my nose is like a hound dog while I’m pregnant.

In that moment I was super proud of myself that I came up with a solution because before I thought about what I had I was about to cry with my son. My husband who couldn’t do anything could see the tears beginning to start. I really didn’t want him to pee himself and he didn’t want to either. I made the mistake on our trip to my Aunts in MS when I told him to pee himself because I was annoyed that we were so close and we had to STOP again. He took me literally and peed in his seat. That was the last time I ever said that to him. We didn’t move for about 30 minutes and all my husband could see was lights on a cop car. I tired to search online for any information but I wasn’t finding anything. I ended up putting a show on using my phone because the boys began to fight. My husband joked that it was the day that broke me and I put on a show while we were on a trip. We don’t give our kids things to do on a trip and we don’t provide entertainment. This was a special treat for them and I was glad I had service to play something.

Once we started to move we were trying to figure out what was the cause of the delay when we discovered that they stopped all traffic on the road to lay down two black wires across the road. These are used to check the speed and the amount of cars that use the current road. I will say that was annoying and even Pat made a comment about how they could have done that at night. I have no idea why it was ok for them to stop traffic the way they did for as long as they did but we were close to the front of the back up so it didn’t take long for us to get moving. I now need to make a list of items I need to put in our van so that if anything like this happens again I am prepared.

Do you have any crazy bathroom stories in the car?
How do you handle young kids in the car for long trips?

My grandmother kept a metal coffee can in the back of her truck for me to use on road trips. I hated using it and I hated peeing on the side of the road. I am not sure why we had to use them so often but I guess back in the day rest stop wasn’t as common as they are now.


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